Let Me Write Post Headlines

2005-08-18T12:08:00.000-04:00

2005-08-18T11:40:00.000-04:00

SHHHHHHameful

2005-08-03T17:35:00.000-04:00

2005-08-01T18:06:00.000-04:00

2005-08-01T09:50:00.000-04:00

2005-07-18T09:20:00.000-04:00

2005-07-15T17:23:00.000-04:00

2005-07-13T14:35:00.000-04:00

2005-07-13T09:36:00.000-04:00

2005-07-11T12:18:00.000-04:00

Duh.

2005-07-06T18:54:00.000-04:00

PADDLE BALL

2005-07-06T15:36:00.000-04:00

BAD RAP

2005-07-06T09:27:00.000-04:00

2005-07-01T15:25:00.000-04:00

SANDRA DAY O'GONER

2005-06-30T11:09:00.000-04:00

IT'S SPAINING MEN

2005-06-29T14:29:00.000-04:00

NON-ELEVEN

2005-06-29T12:57:00.000-04:00

CLINTON LOVES BUSH

2005-06-29T09:37:00.000-04:00

2005-06-28T13:50:00.000-04:00

FRANKEN-DOG??? Are you serious? This is why you need me. Just for starters...

ALL DOGS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN

GOLDEN REVIVER

BARK FROM THE DEAD

2005-06-28T10:59:00.000-04:00

PAKIN' HEAT

2005-06-28T09:25:00.000-04:00

2005-06-27T14:37:00.000-04:00

(Do I even need to say it?)

JAWS 2

(rejected: TEENS TO SHARK: BITE ME)

2005-06-27T10:42:00.000-04:00

SEX TO DI FOR

2005-06-24T15:53:00.000-04:00

MAD ABOUT MOO

2005-06-24T11:10:00.000-04:00

I'll give you two options on this one, fellas.

2005-06-24T09:53:00.000-04:00

TEARBOOK

2005-06-24T09:50:00.000-04:00

LET MY PEOPLE GAY

2005-06-23T17:46:00.000-04:00

FLOPSICLE

2005-06-23T15:21:00.000-04:00

RED 'TAG SALE

2005-06-23T12:32:00.000-04:00

Here's a freebie you can use if the Pistons win tonight.

2005-06-23T12:01:00.000-04:00

Dear NY Post,

My name is Ricky Van Veen. I’m 24 years old and I live in Tribeca, NYC. Please consider this website my plea/resume to write headlines for your amazing paper.

From the life-altering moment I saw my first Post headline on a midtown newsstand on a family trip to the Big Apple in 1992, I knew that’s what I wanted to do with my life. And I’ve remained a loyal fan since.

A few months ago when the “Rice to Riches” owner got in trouble for operating an illegal gambling ring, I stayed up all night wondering what your headline would be the next day. I mean, should you repun an already terrible pun? I rolled out of bed the next morning with Christmas morning enthusiasm and ran to the deli downstairs to see. “RICE TO RICHES” the headline simply read. You let the man’s original pun stand. Now that’s class.

I’m not looking for any money in return- I just want to be part of the magic. I want to decorate my bedroom with framed copies of back issues with my puns blazoned across the cover. I want to be on a date with a girl and pass a young man hawking the paper for a quarter. I’d then point to the brilliant play on words in his hand, turn to my date and say “Yeah- all me.” Then we’d make love.

Every weekday I will post my headlines for that day’s news stories on this webpage in the hopes that they will spark your interest. Then, you would e-mail me (ricky at connectedventures) asking if I’d like to come in one late night an hour before deadline and unleash some zingers. At least that’s how it goes in my dreams.

Let me put the “sensation” back in sensationalism. You won’t regret it.

Best,

Ricky